My subconscious mind let me down. We’re going to have to have a talk, because this just isn’t working out.
Note: This entry is a response to two assignments from blogs I follow, Unstressed Syllables and Website In A Weekend. One was to write a dream sequence to practice telling a chaotic story in a clear, linear manner. The other was to borrow the literary device, the inciting incident, and use it like a blogger would to draw readers into your post. As part of my personal development, I will be working to improve my writing ability, and occasionally posting my “homework” exercises here, in the interest of “being transparent.” I welcome you to do these exercises too and link to it in a comment.
It’s inventory week at my job. I woke up earlier than Santa Claus on Christmas day, raced to work so as not to be the last one in (and therefore the purveyor of donuts the following day), injected coffee into my bloodstream (can I just get an IV of the stuff?) and headed to the floor.
Scan-gun? Check. Clipboard? Check. Ladder? Crap. I, of course, have been left with the leaning tower of twisted metal, complete with fingernails-on-chalkboard squeaky wheel. “Carlos, why don’t you take aisle 16?” my boss says. ”Uh,” I manage to utter just as he’s rounded the corner, answering the first of many I’ve-got-a-problem calls.
© Image Courtesy of MightyOhm on Flickr
Aisle 16 stretches out before me, an endless procession of lag screws, carriage screws, drywall screws, decking screws, wood screws, guttering screws…do you get the picture? I look up into our overheads to scope out the “counting” situation and sigh.
Tiny boxes stacked on top of tiny boxes, stacked in front of tiny boxes, all the way down. It seems like every single one has been opened at some point, which means I have to open them all and count how many pieces are left in each one, rather than just scanning the UPC and letting the gun do all the math.
The store seemed to be in a fast-motion blur around me as I coaxed my squealing ladder down the aisle, one tiny box at a time. Employees were laughing and chalking up how many aisles they had done. High fives and smiles. Teasing and joking, and progress.
This carried on all day, with occasional breaks to uncross my eyes. I finished it though! I finished one side of one aisle in one day. Seems like everyone else hit double digits. Ugh.
That night, as I lay in a math-induced stupor, I drifted off to sleep.
Next thing I knew I was standing in Dimple Donuts and I had to make a decision fast because I was running late. Mustard donuts? Chili cheese fry donuts? What kind of donuts are these?! I settled on a box of day old mayo-glazed and ran out the door.
The roads were slick with ice though; no, the entire ground, sidewalks, grass, parking lots and all were caked with layer upon layer of frosted frozen goodness. I smiled as I saw kids and parents ice skating on their lawns. I ran back in to the donut store to buy my skates and Brian Boitano’d my way to work.
I fidgeted through the morning meeting and then raced to the sales floor, half a mayo donut in hand and found the tallest, smoothest-riding ladder in the store. An angelic choir sang out one clear melodious note as I laid hands on it. I pushed the glorious ladder into my assigned aisle and nodded approvingly as I saw large, neatly arranged boxes, all sealed, all with their UPC’s facing out. ”It’s beautiful,” I whispered, and ran up and down the ladder scanning, smiling, laughing with joy.
As I laid in bed, making subtle ladder-climbing, box-shuffling movements, my wife asked me “Carlos, are you asleep?”
“Yes!”
“What are you dreaming about?”
“Boxes!”
My wife wrinkled her brow and asked me, incredulous, “Don’t you want to dream about something better than boxes?”
“THERE’S NOTHING BETTER THAN BOXES!”
~
My subconscious mind let me down. We’re going to have to have a talk, because this just isn’t working out.
Conscious Me is now on Facebook.Visit the new page and add me as your friend!
Thanks,
Carlos
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Really, really good. You keep after this for a year, you will look back on your earlier writing and think “Man, that was really awful” even though it seemed great at the time.
Thanks for taking the challenge, and linking back.
[Reply]
Carlos Velez Reply:
January 7th, 2010 at 12:52 PM
Thanks for the encouragement! I know just what you mean. I look forward to looking back at my current writing with embarrassment. That’s exactly how I feel about the stuff I was writing before I took a hiatus for several years.
[Reply]
Great story! I liked the boxes visual especially. this was a fun challenge from Dave.
My recent post How to Traumatize the Kids Without Really Trying
[Reply]
Carlos Velez Reply:
March 15th, 2010 at 12:01 AM
Thanks Justin! I really enjoyed writing this. It's a true story that I embellished for this exercise. I would like to find more time to do more of Aaron's writing exercises. They're really fun and helpful.
My recent post Pre-Writing Challenge Updates: Week 3 + E-Book And Future Event
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